MY AWESOME DILEMNA

Published 12/21/24

hm so a problem i have a lot with writing on here specifically is that i have like. absolutely no clue what to talk about? i dont know maybe its because i have not done much other than finals recently but like. this blogging shit is HARD i dont have anything interesting to talk about. i could keep talking about myself but thats literally what this whole site is about. like i feel like i need to write super passionately about a specific topic on here but idk i guess i haven't been super passionate about anything in specific recently? it feels a little sad writing that out but i think thats ok sometimes.

i just bought minecraft again recently. is that something interesting to talk about? i couldn't remember my info from the account that i had when i was little so sadly twenty whole dollars has been lost to time.

HUGE MARSLAND LOSS AND EPIC TRANSGENDER WIN

Published 11/29/24

so wowwww whats uppppppp marsland is back and better than ever!!!! so firstly i was going to update this a lot earlier. i was intending on uploading everything that ive been working on over the past few months this week but I BROKE MY HARD DRIVE ive been coping so hard. but as of right now i have a new laptop!!! a super nice one too yayyy. this is genuinely the first thing im doing on my new laptop i was so excited to work on my site :( but its ok now

buttt an update on me! i have just been busy with work and assignments and general life. a few exciting things have happened though! firstly i have started running my dnd campaign once again!!! its super exciting for me im dming it for my six friends and weve only done one session (that did not make much progress) but im still partying. i am restarting (kind of) in a new angle that i havent done before running this so hopefully it turns out fun for everyone! i will definitely make a page for this game at one point. hopefully when this is first uploaded but thats not a promise.

and saving the best for last, i started testosterone!!!! as of writing this im almost three months on t and it genuinely is life saving medication. i am so much happier and it is so prevelent in my everyday life. with recent events the longevity of my medical transition might be put to a hault but i have been trying not to let it eat me up too much inside. trying to stay hopeful!

for any og fans you might wonder why the first entry on this page has been removed. or for most you might not know what im talking about! it was just a more personal piece about myself and my hardships with not being able to access hormonal care, but looking back on that its something id like to keep more personal to myself. its not really the vibe im trying to give off i guess. but its still an important thing to talk about. for a final note on all of this, i think things can get better. its so hard feeling like youre at the bottom, but things can and will get better. even if it takes eight years and on not the best conditions it gets better. we stay hopeful because we have to!!!!

I FUCKING LOVE MUSIC SO GOD DAMN MUCH

Published 7/24/24

because my first entry in here is kind of sad and i updated my thing of a month i wanted to write something else!! so yesss i fucking love music so god damn much its so crazy. if i wasnt crazy i would wear super noise canceling headphones and only listen to music all of the time. especially now that i havent been doing anything this whole summer i have just been listening to so much music its so awesome

its such a beautiful form of expression and story telling i truly aspire for my art to have as much emotion as just one song. whenever i listen to music i want to start throwing myself against a wall and crying and eating my arm. all of this is multiplied by like a million whenever im seeing a live performance its not funny. i am a little addicted to the crashing of drums. i love it when my ears are ringing after a show. i will lose my hearing in probably two years but we dont have to talk about that right now

ive been wanting to learn how to make music recently but i am lazy and insecure and thats really it. hopefully ill get on that at one point. maybe in like a year ill look back at this entry and laugh because ill have my music all over this site or ill be sad because i never picked it up. hopefully its the former but who knows.